your room smells of hookers.
And success
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
