dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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