no, he came in my armpit
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
