i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
