so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
