Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
