Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
