I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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