Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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