he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
