She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
mondays should just be called national damage control day
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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