Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
