I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
