I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
