So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
