I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
