i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize