The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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