Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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