I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
