How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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