I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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