obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
