I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I don't deserve a penis
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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