Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
