its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
