Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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