Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
