I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
