She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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