Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
