so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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