I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize