I think my vagina is haunted
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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