dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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