Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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