If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
