Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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