HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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