So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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