Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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