I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
