I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize