You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize