if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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