So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just invented taco cereal.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
