i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
