My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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