idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
