You're my little dorito
I'm gonna have a badass scar
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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