i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
