I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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