Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
