I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
