I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
