i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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