Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
