OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
im having a threesome with these popsicles
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
