You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
